After last year's Carroll/Torres disaster movie, you'd have to be a brave man to sign a high-profile striker on deadline day. Clearly, Mark Hughes is braver than most: he bought two. One of them labours under the title Lord of the Manor of Frodsham; the other is a Londoner who seemingly refuses to labour anywhere outside of his manor. QPR are Bobby Zamora's fourth consecutive capital club, and Rs fans will be hoping he can do as good a job of keeping them in the Premier League as he did Fulham. With strike partner Djibril Cisse scoring on his debut against Villa last night, and the likes of Nedum Onuoha and Taye Taiwo also moving to Loftus Road, the smart money says he will.
Runners-up: Papiss Demba Cisse (Freiburg to Newcastle), Nikica Jelavic (Rangers to Everton)
The Most Dubious Signing Award: Wayne Bridge (Manchester City to Sunderland)
The former England star reacted angrily when City manager Roberto Mancini recently claimed he'd rather play golf than football. Following his abject performances on loan in their relegation run-in last term, most West Ham fans probably would have preferred it if he'd stayed buried in a bunker somewhere. Now Sunderland fans will have the dubious honour of watching Bridge go through the motions for the rest of the season. Of course, there is a chance that the former Chelsea defender could rediscover his form under Martin O'Neill. But we'd be willing to bet he'll knock another couple of points off his handicap instead.
Runner-up: Ryan Nelsen (Blackburn to Tottenham)
The Biggest Gamble Award: Louis Saha (Everton to Tottenham)
When news of his deadline day move first broke, we joked on Twitter that Spurs would not only release a DVD of his medical, but that it would be an epic trilogy. Yes, Saha has won a Premier League title. But he also has an injury record so bad that when he first dyed his hair orange, we just assumed he'd gone rusty. Obviously he's behind Emmanuel Adebayor in the pecking order and, presumably, Jermain Defoe too, so his playing time was always going to be limited. But what are the odds he'll be fit when the call does come?
Runner-up: Ravel Morrison (Manchester United to West Ham)
The Biggest Coup Award: Ravel Morrison (Manchester United to West Ham)
Alright, so he's only made three first team appearances for Manchester United - all of them in the Carling Cup, and all of them from the bench - and his off-field antics reportedly make Joey Barton look like the offspring of Mother Theresa and Mahatma Gandhi, but Morrison is still rated as quite the prospect - not least by United fans. Sadly for them, Alex Ferguson admitted the best thing for Ravel would be getting out of Manchester. Thankfully, London's East End is noted for its, er, calm and soothing effects on combustible characters so West Ham can expect their England youth star to quietly go about becoming the star everyone thinks he will. Honest.
Runner-up: Frederic Vaseli (Manchester City to Manchester United)
The One That Got Away Award: Adrian Mariappa (Watford to Wigan)
Following a public spat with Newcastle over their derisory offer - boss Sean Dyche claimed his son had more money in his piggy bank - Watford eventually accepted a deadline-day bid from Wigan. The only problem was, the highly-rated defender said no. We're not sure why he didn't fancy joining a relegation-threatened side from a rugby town who regularly play in a half-empty stadium, but can only assume Mariappa wanted his Premier League adventure to last longer than the next four months.
Runners-up: Milos Krasic (Juventus to Tottenham), Adam Johnson (Manchester City to Everton)
The Most Boring Transfer Saga Award: Carlos Tevez (Manchester City to... Manchester City)
Pity the Tevez. Not only has his extended holiday in Argentina cost him a whopping £9.3million (and that's probably just the data roaming charges on his mobile bill) but, in the interim, agent and former used car salesman Kia Joorabchian has hawked the one-time world -lass striker around Europe like, erm, a used car. After dropping his skirts for suitors from Paris to Milan, Tevez eventually wound up back where he started: eating steaks the size of toilet seats on a beach in Buenos Aires. Still, at least we can look forward to three more months of this in the summer.
Runner-up: Wesley Sneijder (Inter Milan to... nobody again)
The Wheeler-Dealer Award: Harry Redknapp (Tottenham)
As we all know, Harry Redknapp is not a wheeler-dealer, he's a f***ing football manager. Which is exactly why he chose to do the lion's share of his January transfer window business at exactly 10..55pm - five minutes before the window closed. In fact, he even signed Ryan Nelsen the day after the window closed following some shenanigans that involved the Blackburn defender having his contract cancelled in order to become a free agent. Not the actions of a wheeler-dealer, we're sure you'll agree.
Runner-up: David Moyes (Everton - yes, really!)
The Friends Reunited Award: Thierry Henry (New York Red Bulls to Arsenal)
Last autumn, you would have got better odds on the statue of Thierry Henry erected to mark the Gunners' 125th anniversary coming to life and scoring a competitive goal for the club than the man himself doing so again. And yet that was to reckon without Arsene Wenger's almost perverse attitude to transfers. He's got form, of course, having re-signed Sol Campbell in 2010 when he was carrying more timber than an octopus working as a lumberjack. Any doubts about Henry were dispelled roughly 10 minutes into his comeback appearance against Leeds. And even if that's his only significant contribution to Arsenal's season, it will still rank as the most memorable.
Runners-up: Fabian Delph (Leeds), Landon Donovan (LA Galaxy to Everton), Steven Pienaar (Tottenham to Everton)
The Didn't Expect to See You Again Award: Chris Samba (Blackburn)
Samba couldn't have looked more desperate for a move if he'd printed up a brochure highlighting his best qualities (well, it worked for Michael Owen - although admittedly he had more to work with than 'big bloke, wins headers'). Having burned the last of his Blackburn bridges by handing in a transfer request, Samba was denied his dream move after 1) Venky's dug their heels in, and 2) nobody actually came in for him. Still, we're sure everyone will be glad to see him when he eventually rocks up for his first training session following the close of the window.
Runners-up: Paul Scholes (Manchester United), Robbie Keane (LA Galaxy to Manchester United), Sotoris Kyrgiakos (Wolfsburg to Sunderland)
The Now You See Me, Now You Don't Award: Gary Cahill (Bolton to Chelsea)
Given how long and hard Chelsea fought to land Bolton's England defender, he could be excused for actually expecting to play for them. Still at least Cahill finally made it as far as the bench this week - poor old Kevin de Bruyne only made it as far as Cobham before being shipped straight back to Belgium. Still, with his starting XI in such, er, sparkling form, why would Andre Villas-Boas want to risk upsetting things be introducing expensive new faces?
Runner up: Kevin de Bruyne (Genk to Chelsea to Genk); Ryan Bennett (Peterborough to Norwich to Peterborough)
The One For The Future Award: Joao Carlos Texeira (Sporting Lisbon to Liverpool
Liverpool were so impressed by Texeira's goalscoring performance against them in the Next Gen series that they eventually signed him for £1million. However, he shouldn't expect to perform any heroics in front of the Kop any time soon. When asked about the youngster's potential, Reds manager Kenny Dalgish responded: "He's not in contention for the first team. He's only a kid." It wasn't Kenny's only result of the transfer window. After telling reporters on January 30 that Liverpool wouldn't sign anyone, he responded to questions about a dip for Jermain Defoe on deadline day with: "It's a wee bit insulting... You must think we tell lies because we came out and you on Monday there would be nothing happening."
Runner-up: Thomas Eisfield (Borussia Dortmund to Arsenal)
The Arsene Wenger Money's Too Tight To Mention Award: Tony Pulis (Stoke)
We know it was an austerity transfer window, but with your no signings whatsoever, Mr Pulis, you really are spoiling us. Perhaps he was waiting for the rugby transfer window to open instead?
Runner up: Arsene Wenger (Arsenal)
The Things Can Only Get Better Award: T.Ream (New York Red Bulls to Bolton)